


will you find me after life?

by themetgayla



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: F/M, Hurt/Comfort, amy comforts him as per, it’s sad, jake is a soft boy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-01
Updated: 2020-02-01
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:21:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22506985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/themetgayla/pseuds/themetgayla
Summary: Jake’s cat dies. Amy comforts him.(based on the death of my own cat very recently.)
Relationships: Jake Peralta/Amy Santiago
Comments: 2
Kudos: 28





	will you find me after life?

**Author's Note:**

> sooo i wrote this as a therapeutic thing bc my cat died four weeks ago. he was 19, and lived the best life possible, but because i’ve grown up with him - he was there from birth - i’ve never lived without him. so i felt i had to write something to get out the hurt, i guess?
> 
> anyway, enjoy!

When Jake comes into work one day with red, puffy eyes and his head cast down, Amy knows something bad has happened. He  _ never  _ cries; not in front of her, anyway.

They haven’t been dating long - only two weeks, actually - but Amy can’t deny she’s liked Jake for years.

She wants to ask what’s going on, why he hasn’t said a word since he stepped out of the elevator, why he hadn’t complained about the boring insurance fraud case Holt assigned him the previous day.

But Jake is emotionally damaged - which is a secret to no one - and doesn’t react too well to being questioned on his state of mind. And Amy can't imagine that Jake will appreciate her interrogating him when he looks this fragile.

So, steering clear of any touchy subjects, Amy gets on with her work. She attempts to joke lightheartedly as they usually do, but all she’s met with are weak, half-hearted smiles. He barely says a word.

* * *

“Jake, can I talk to you in private, please?” Amy has watched Jake sit and do paperwork for two hours, and he’s still on the first page. His concentration appears to be even worse than usual; his hands are shaking, he’s jumpy, and keeps staring down at his desk blankly, eyes glossy.

Something is very wrong, and Amy intends to get to the bottom of it. If she thought it was something minor, she wouldn’t push, but it’s  _ not _ . She knows this because Jake keeps scratching at the inside of his forearm, and he only does that when he’s really upset. (She recognises the anxious tic from her own history of anxiety and panic attacks.)

So whether Jake likes it or not, Amy has to at least  _ try _ . She can’t just leave him to suffer.

Jake snaps his head up from his desk, eyes wide and unfocused. He looks jittery. “Uh, yeah, sure.” He stands shakily, snatching up the tangle toy sitting on his desk, and stares expectantly at Amy.

“Come on,” she says softly, grabbing his hand and pulling him towards the evidence lockup.

He follows willingly.

“Jake, talk to me, what’s going on? You’ve been checked out the whole day. It’s so unlike you.” Amy can’t help the gentle hand that moves to his forearm and the instinct to just wrap him up in a hug.

Jake casts his eyes down to the floor and blushes deeply, clearly embarrassed. Amy doesn’t push him, just rubs her thumb rhythmically back and forth against his clothed arm and waits for him to speak.

“My, um, my cat died. Uh, this morning,” he mumbles. tears springing to his eyes. He doesn’t fight them as they roll down his cheeks and his shoulders begin to shake.

Amy masks her surprise - Jake had a cat? - and immediately moves to pull him into her arms. He falls into them gratefully and buries his head in her shoulder, tears soaking into her blazer as his body tremble with the force of his sobs.

“Oh honey, I’m so sorry,” Amy whispers, rubbing his back. Holding him tightly, she stays silent as she lets him pour out his pain.

Her mind is taken back to when she lost her childhood cat, a ginger tabby called Honey. (She was four, don’t blame her for the terrible name.) Her whole family had been devastated, but no one more than Amy. Honey had been her rock; whenever she’d have a bad day, she’d come home and cuddle her until she fell asleep; she told her all her secrets, emptying her heart to the cat she knew would never judge her; when she was crying, Honey would curl up on her chest and purr loudly in an attempt to heal her.

Amy knows how hard it is, and she can’t imagine going through it again. After Honey died at the ripe age of twenty, she’d vowed not to have another pet for fear of losing them, but she misses the companionship, if she’s honest.

Jake’s sobs quiet after a while, until he’s breathing heavily onto her neck in exhaustion. “Thank you,” he murmurs, pulling his head back and staring at her with wide, child-like eyes.

Amy suddenly sees him as a young boy, hurt and confused as to why his father had left, grieving. Pets fill a hole, as Amy knows, and to lose one rips you apart once more.

“There’s nothing to thank me for, babe.”

He shakes his head insistently. “There is. Thank you for not judging me.” His eyes drop again, sticky cheeks reddening.

Amy’s heart softens impossibly further, and she presses a kiss to his forehead upon impulse. “Jakey, I know what it’s like, okay? I lost a cat once too; I was devastated. Honey was my one true friend,” she admits, voice low and hushed.

Jake snaps his head up in surprise, seemingly relieved at the knowledge that he isn’t alone. “John was my best friend too.” A smile tugs at Amy’s lips as she catches the Die Hard reference - his love for that film never fails to surprise her.

“I’m sure he loves you,” she says. “Do you have a picture?”

Nodding, Jake pulls out his phone and taps on the most recent photo on his camera roll. A gorgeous black cat with bright green eyes appears on the screen, body curled up, looking adoringly at the camera.

“Oh Jake, he’s beautiful.” Her boyfriend tears up again as he nods in agreement. “How old was he?”

“Uh, thirteen, I think. He had— He had c-cancer,” Jake chokes out. The words are a struggle; the pain is fresh and raw and Amy wishes she hadn’t asked so soon.

Not knowing what to say, the brunette opens her arms for Jake to fall into; he does without hesitation, burying his head in Amy’s shoulder. He doesn’t cry again, just stands silently, arms wrapped around his girlfriend’s waist in that signature child-like way of his.

“I don’t know what to do. I-I can’t live alone, Amy,” he says, words muffled by her blazer.

She hears him though, and makes an impulse decision she may regret later down the line. “Move in with me,” she offers, voice confident in a way that masks her churning stomach and underlying doubt.

Jake steps back to stare at her, mouth agape. “Really?”

“If you want to, yes.”

He’s quiet for a moment, which immediately causes Amy’s heart rate to spike, wondering it she’s made an irreversible mistake by asking. But then a soft, warm smile stretches across Jake’s face, and he nods eagerly. “I’d love to,” be confirms, eyes twinkling with an adorably youthful happiness.

Moving in with Amy won’t fill the hole, or take away the loss of John, but he won’t have to live alone with his thoughts, and that’s something.

**Author's Note:**

> let me know what you thought! any feedback is appreciated :)


End file.
